What’s “Bro-code” missing?
What’s “Bro-code Missing”
Are exes fair game for guys?
Guys love their buddies. “Bro time” is a frequent argument in relationships, and it probably will be throughout time. Guys just love their guys. So you would think they would have some rules along with these affections. Rules that would definitely include not seeking out an ex of another buddy. Recently our friend “Jill” came to us in a predicament dealing with this very topic. After chatting with her, we realized this has happened to us, both of us!
When you date and love someone, you obviously get to know their friends. Odds are their friends are similar to them, so inevitably you like them. So let’s go to the scenario here. Jill, post breakup with her man sees his friend, “Dan” out at a bar. Because she’s not a psycho bitch, she went to say hello to Dan, just to be nice. After exchanging slightly awkward hellos, they got to talking about her ex. Nothing unusual at first, but as he wrapped his hand around the small of her back a little tighter, and a little lower, he said his friend is an absolute idiot for letting her go. This is where this friendly bar-banter became an entirely different ball game. Hearing these words of validation from someone on “his team” made her start to view him in a different light. She realized that Dan, who has been there all along, sees something special in her. Something her ex didn’t care enough to see or to hold on to. Here’s when she started being interested in Dan as an option.
So what happens when that line gets crossed from just casually talking about your ex to wait, could this mean more? In this case, we have yet to see the final conclusion of Jill and Dan as their relationship did not end with their conversation at the bar. The bigger picture here is that Jill is not alone! Regardless of the situation; guys have zero loyalty to their buddies when it comes to the ex factor. We aren’t saying this to hate on guys, we are saying this because it’s true!
It’s a cardinal rule among girlfriends that exes are off limits. Completely off limits. A girl would swear off another girl for life if she hooked up with, texted, or even bar flirted with her ex. However, with guys this is just not the case. Between the two of us, we have had countless friends of exs that have asked us out, hooked up with us, or tried to evolve our “friendly” friendship to something more. Is there a secret guy code that exs are fair game?
So as girls, what is our deal when we engage with friends of exes? Are we loyal to our ex? Mm probably not. We are guessing if you find yourself in this situation you identify with one of the following; you either want to get back at your ex, you want to get your ex’s attention, or you just genuinely like his friend and would consider dating him. At the end of the day it’s a messy, dirty little situation, and no matter what someones feelings will get hurt. If you want to date your exes friend, and you think he wants to date you, we’re not going to hold you back. We don’t recommend it, however we are pretty sure he’s open to entertain the idea. In this case we think the best plan is to leave yours and his bar-banter and ex-chatter as it is; that one time you saw his friend out at the bar.