When You Need to Just Stop
When You Need to Just Stop
Girls have a tendency to obsess over relationships…. understatement of the year.
Although we always internally obsess, at select times we run to our girlfriends for advice. Usually, it is when we can’t come to an answer on our own. But what if this is bad for us? When girlfriends get together, do we make a habit out of making one small thing a WAYYY bigger deal? We think this happens.
Example: You tell a girlfriend about a great date you had but the guy said ONE thing that was kind of off. Things quickly spiral out of control and 10 minutes later, based on this one comment you have come to the conclusion that he’s gay, has a girlfriend, has a wife, or a drug addiction. This conversation confirms in your mind whatever crazy assumption you made about the guy. You feed off of each other and can create a completely different situation from reality. This can be dangerous because it feels like reality since you didn’t come up with it on your own.
God bless your girlfriend for indulging your reaction on your dates comment; but she doesn’t realize that she is also helping you take it a little bit too far. Do we really need to make that big of a deal out of everything? For small and insignificant things, this can be harmless. But what about our important relationships, do we ever stop and think about the damage it can do them?
Girlfriends tend to know a lot about your relationship, but when you think about everything that encompasses an intimate relationship; an outsider can only know so much. Therefore, when we go to girlfriends for advice, they are giving their two cents with maybe 40% of factual knowledge on your relationship. Most girls give advice based on their own experiences. As a result, their advice will be tailored to you based on THEIR past; not your past, your boyfriends past, or your relationship itself. You really place yourself in a catch 22 here because you can’t get your girlfriends words out of your head, but it really could be far from the truth.
The worst part about this is that it snowballs out of control quickly. Since girlfriend #1 left you full of anxiety, you reach out to another girl in hopes of getting a different opinion. This process could repeat itself for the rest of eternity. After a few calls and conversations, you quickly lose sight of yourself and what YOU feel and want. You lose track of your intuition and your heart and become blinded by what everyone else may see. The other people’s opinions start to matter more than yours, which is never good for you or for your relationship.
So at times like this, as hard as it is; the best call may be to take some time alone and listen to the one voice and opinion that should matter the most; yours. Center yourself and truly let your heart guide you, the background noise shouldn’t matter.