The Passive Aggressive Girl
The Passive Aggressive Girl
Why are girls more frequently choosing passive aggressive behaviors in their relationships with men? Lately, more often than not, we have had our “girls night” drinks with a side of passive aggressive. We have seen multiple girls, girlfriends, and acquaintances deliberately choose this behavior. Is it really that hard to be assertive and actually say what you want to your guy? It shouldn’t be rocket science here girls, if you want something in your relationship you should just man up (or woman up?) and ask for it like a big girl.
Perfect example of the deliberate choice to be passive aggressive goes as follows:
Throughout your daily text banter while working, you’re waiting for your guy to invite you to hang out that night. As the day comes to a close you’re over the chit-chat and have gotten your hopes completely up. You are sitting on pins and needles waiting for that, “what are you doing tn” text. Ding, finally! You open the message only to read that he is super tired and going to bed. You got your hopes up on seeing him, but mind you, you never told him that you wanted to hang out. Subsequently you’re left feeling rejected. But is this rejection really his fault?
As girls, we are naturally sensitive and we immediately turn to rejection. The worst part is, we overlook our fault in the situation and get mad at him instead. Insert the passive aggressive text here. Upon sending your, “K. Night” text response, you feel better for about 3 seconds and then hope he picks up on the fact that he upset you. Remember at this moment he has no idea that he hasn’t meet your expectations, and why would he?
So what happens next? Since he has no clue why you’re mad, he views your tone as a turn off. He probably will start scaling back his dialogue a bit and you further get frustrated. So now, not only did you not get what you want, but you’re on uneasy ground in your relationship and you look like a baby. This is just not a good look! We, as assertive and strong women, need to rise above this!
When communicating with men, in order to get what you want, you need to say it. Our mothers haven’t lied to us for years; men do not pick up on subtle hints, as much as we wish they did. Had you told him what you wanted, you could have had a great date night; no fight, no shattered expectations, no hurt feelings. Instead, you caused a mess for your relationship and came off looking like a stereotypical crazy girl in his mind.
Being passive aggressive is a tough habit to break but it can be easily solved by taking one minute to consider your responses before pressing send. If your man lets you down, does something that bothers you, or upsets you, say it! If you speak in a mature way that encourages honest communication such as, “it bothered me when…” or, “I was hoping that …” there should be no reason for any backlash. Your guy can’t read your mind to figure out what you want, expecting him to do so is setting him up for failure. Imagine a relationship where you can be honest about what you want without playing stupid mind games. It shouldn’t sound that crazy!