Save Your 50 Bucks
We are back!!! Our latest article is up on the United States of Dating Blog!
Have you ever stopped liking a guy, for well, no reason really, and can’t figure out how to let him go? This ones for you! Our latest post on Patti Stanger’s #USOD
Or Read Below:
Save Your 50 Bucks
Girls read and write about guys that rejected them all the time! But what about the other guys? What about the guys that we rejected? Don’t they deserve a little attention?
We’ve all done this, found some guy that we were super excited about for a scant amount of time and ended up not liking him. Maybe this guy got your number at your favorite bar and you later regretting giving it to him. Maybe you went out with him once and felt no attraction. Maybe you got his name, stalked his medias and thought, “oh hell no!”. Whatever the reason, you just aren’t interested.
So what do we do next? Well, at least in our experience and what we have seen happen with our friends- we all start acting awkward as shit. We cringe at the texts we receive, we wait 6 hours to respond, and we no longer pursue a flirty banter. In other words, we get cold. We have no idea how to get out of it because let’s face it, telling someone you aren’t interested is really uncomfortable.
This situation is hard for us to address because we have such big hearts, and want to avoid hurt feelings, (right?!). So we continue to ponder if we’re being too picky or overlooking potential while maintaining awkward behaviors. What we don’t realize is that by not being straight up and honest with the guy, we are just prolonging the inevitable of hurting his feelings.
So how does a guy win? What are we looking for? Basically, we feel like girls are all looking for the same thing, and its HARD to find. We want butterflies, we want sparks, we want undeniable chemistry and throw down. But this early on, how do you really know if this guy has these things?
We all start acting awkward as shit. We cringe at the texts we receive, we wait 6 hours to respond, and we no longer pursue a flirty banter. In other words, we get cold.
Our favorite test to solve this tricky equation is to imagine what you would do in the following scenario: You’re in bed after just washing your face and putting on your biggest ugliest tee shirt as your pajamas and you’re about to drift off to sleep. Bing bing! Your phone lights up with a text from said guy and he asks you to hang out.
Option A: You like him so much you get out of bed, excitedly put on makeup and a cute outfit, and head out the door.
Option B: You read it, click that top button to make your screen go dark, and roll back over, all the while knowing there is no way in hell you would get out of fetal position for that guy.
We all want option A, but like we said, its hard as shit to find. And note to guys; every girl wishes and hopes that you are option A! Sometimes you just arent. So the option B’s of the world are left in bewilderment as they get awkward messages or just ignored. Even though ignoring is mean and childish, it is sort of doing the guy a favor by saving him the wasted time and effort.
He is sitting over there hanging on every word you say, getting more and more anxious as texts populate his phone that aren’t from you. He doesn’t understand where he went wrong and what he could have done differently
However, we couldn’t help but reflect on these behaviors, and think it is not the best way to treat our option B’s. Think about how you feel when you get ignored or short and cryptic messages from a guy you like. Poor option B feels the same way! He is sitting over there hanging on every word you say, getting more and more anxious as texts populate his phone that aren’t from you. He doesn’t understand where he went wrong and what he could have done differently. Most of the time he’s done nothing wrong, you just aren’t interested.
How many times have you hoped and wished for a clear reason why a guy wasn’t interested in you? Wouldn’t you have liked that mysterious, “what’s wrong with me” question to have been answered? Getting the answer to that question helps us to let it go and move on. We think our option B’s deserve that truth.
Imagine a world where there was a token phrase we could use to tell these poor guys that to us, they are just another option B. Upon hearing this, option B would know not to take it personally, and to move on to his next prospect. Adios!
Lets assume a conservative, run of the mill, “lets meet for drinks” date costs 50 bucks. What if instead of being awkward and ignoring him, we could tell option B, “save your 50 bucks”. Meaning, I’m sorry for the confusion, I was initially interested in you, but for whatever reason I’m just not feeling it anymore. I wish you the best, kindly save your money and put it toward a date with a girl that thinks of you as an option A.
The reality is, no one wants to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with them. It’s only fair to tell the option B’s to save their 50 bucks, and run free to the next girl because to us, their option B status is not going to be upgraded. Yes, rejection sucks no matter how small the form, but it’s only fair to let a guy go flourish to the next one. No guy wants to spend his 50 on a girl that before the first date is already crossing off the idea of a second date.
Guys, we all really really wish you were our option A’s, and we were yours, but for now, take no offense. You deserve a girl who wants to get out of bed, excitedly put on makeup and run off to see you. You’ll be somebody’s option A, but until then smile when you hear, “save your 50 bucks”. We are doing you a favor!